Emotional intimacy is a level of closeness in a relationship that encourages sharing personal feelings, demonstrating understanding and encouraging caring. This is a vital part of a long-lasting relationship because it encourages more than just physical closeness relies on openness and honesty with your partner. Finding these feelings can be challenging in any relationship, but sometimes in our relationship with men, it can seem almost impossible to build this level of trust.
The most important factor with building emotional intimacy is trust. It is easier to share your personal feelings with someone that you trust. So, many of these tips will be ways to build trust and therefore build emotional intimacy. Really trusting your partner can open so many doors in a relationship. It can help promote comfort, peace and settle fights before they even happen. Here are some ways to promote emotional intimacy and trust in your relationship:
Ways to Promote Emotional Intimacy and Trust in Your Relationship
Don’t Be Afraid to Disagree
Any relationship is going to involve disagreements. It might seem easier to not bring up politics or religion because you don’t want to create a disagreement, but how else are you going to truly emotionally connect with your partner without knowing their personal beliefs? Maybe you see something while watching television with your partner, use this as an opportunity to figure out where they stand. We all have our opinions on politics, but always make sure you hear what your partner is saying even if they say something that you don’t agree with.
Once you hear what your partner has to say, don’t be afraid to tell them if you disagree. Mind how you are speaking to your partner during these conversations because you don’t want to talk down to them because this can make them defensive. Give your honest opinion and remember that just because you two may disagree on a subject does not mean that your relationship has to end. The best relationships are built on trusting that you can disagree with your partner without fighting or ending the relationship.
Emotional intimacy is about more than just always agreeing with your partner. Disagreeing with your partner shows that you trust them with your honest opinion and lets them know where you stand on important topics. So, while you shouldn’t be afraid to disagree, remember to always speak respectfully to your partner and don’t be dismissive of their opinions and feelings.
Acts of Love
Emotional intimacy can become a lot stronger when you show your partner in different ways how much you care for them. Acts of love are a popular way of doing this. This can be as simple as holding their hand in public or buying them a thoughtful gift. Let your partner know that you’re thinking about him and listening when he shares a struggle with you. For example, if he complains about his inability to stay organized, consider buying him a planner. Or if he shares how much he loves a specific brand of alcohol, consider buying it for him. These small acts will not only show that you listen to him, but that you care enough to be thinking about things he said afterward.
Acts of love can really make your partner feel safe in your relationship. By showing him that you’re listening and that you care about his needs, you can promote trust, show acceptance and exemplify selflessness. In those moments, random gift giving can show that you are willing to give him something without the need to have something in return. It also flips the stereotype of men always needing to be the one giving gifts and buying things. You can show him that you want an even relationship and not something stereotypical.
Giving him a gift can also deepen your emotional connection by showing how much you actually know about him. He’ll understand that you listen when he talks, remember important aspects of his life and are willing to spend time and money to make him happy.
Even simpler than gift giving is being willing to show public affection. Reaching for his hand in the middle of a crowded store will help build an emotional connection. This simple act can show him that you are proud to be with him, that you trust him and that you’re okay with other people knowing about your relationship.
Doing things together can help build emotional intimacy in any relationship. But trying something new with him can really foster a deeper emotional connection. For example, if you both try an escape room together, he will think of you whenever he sees one. If he is willing to try new things with you, then that shows a level of trust that he already has developed. So, add on to that trust by following through with these experiences, and it will bring you closer and make sure you have something to talk about for a while.
Shared experiences also go beyond trying something new. Plan trips with both of your families and friends. Sharing experiences with people that he is close to will foster deep emotional connections. Spending time with his family shows that you can fit in with them and will make him feel more comfortable around you. This will promote more trust and open communication.
Life can be exhausting at times. Being able to unwind after a long day is something that we all tend to truly appreciate and look forward to. Sometimes you want to talk about how insane your day was, and other days you may just want to sit in silence for a little while and recover. But if you notice that your partner wants to talk about his day, make sure you take the time to listen. Creating an atmosphere of open conversation and being able to openly rant can foster emotional intimacy. Telling him that you don’t want to hear it or that you’re too busy to listen does not do anything to foster that connection.
Make sure during these times that you are hearing him out and creating a safe environment for him to share those struggles with you. This means not telling other people about those struggles and not confronting issues for him. For example, if he tells you about a fight that he had with his mom, don’t call her and try to resolve it. Just listen to him and allow him to fix it himself. Knowing that he can trust you with information will make him more likely to tell you things in the future. So never share that information or try to fix an issue for him. Just be a safe place for him to go with issues and offer advice when requested. This will make him feel loved and cared for and make him more likely to come to you in the future.
Try not to meet him with anger or hostility when he is sharing something with you. Always be willing to patiently listen, and don’t try to interrupt him with your own story. Think about how it would feel for your story to be interrupted and try not to do that to him. Interrupting and being hostile can make it seem like you aren’t listening and make him regret trying to share with you. Meet him halfway and wait until he is done before sharing your own experience.
Remember to also share your experiences with him. If you are noticing that he isn’t very open about his struggles, then it may help to voice some of your struggles. This may make him more likely to share his own stories.
This can be the most difficult part of building emotional intimacy, but it is also the most important part. Part of fostering trust is sharing your fears and doubts. Being this vulnerable with someone isn’t always easy, especially for those of us who have been hurt before.
Now, it is important to understand that he may not be ready to be vulnerable as quickly as you. While this is understandable, it is important to make sure that you are not the only person in the relationship sharing deeply vulnerable information. Relationships can easily become one-sided. So, it is important to make these vulnerable moments into conversations. Share something about yourself and then ask something about him also.
If you are too guarded with your partner, then your relationship will be driven further apart. This goes for both of you. If he is too guarded, then the same thing will happen. Don’t expect him to be vulnerable immediately, but make sure you do have expectations of open and vulnerable communication at some point in the early stages of a relationship.
Being vulnerable will also help your partner understand your insecurities. Knowing each other’s insecurities will truly help develop trust and intimacy. Also, being able to trust that your partner is not going to use those insecurities against you is an important feeling. So make sure that you don’t use that information when arguments arise.
Compliment Each Other
Sharing compliments with each other is common in the beginning of a relationship but is something that can begin to fall off as your get more comfortable together. Make sure this doesn’t happen. Although he might know how handsome you think he is, don’t be afraid to remind him. These affirmations can help your partner feel safe and secure with you.
Also understand that the best compliments cover more than just physical appearance. If he gets you flowers, then you should take the time to compliment his thoughtfulness and generosity. This doesn’t have to be immediately as the action is happening either. Bringing up this act later can show that his actions have a long-term positive effect on you, and it can make him understand that you see his efforts and appreciate them.
Compliment him about his life apart from you too. If you hear him giving a virtual presentation for work, then there is nothing wrong with complimenting him about it later. Or if he is telling you about his day at work, then don’t be afraid to tell him how responsible the choice that he made was. These simple compliments can show that you understand his motivations and let him know that you are on his side.
Self-Care and Self-Love
A big part of promoting emotional intimacy is taking care of yourself too. Make sure that while you are working on this relationship, you are still taking time for yourself. Those hobbies that you love should not go away just because you are in a relationship. Sure, life gets busy and we don’t always have the time to devote to those fun things we like to do but taking care of yourself makes you more emotionally available for him.
If you really want to foster a deeper emotional connection, make sure you are emotionally available and satisfied. Take the time to take that long bath or listen to that podcast that you love so much because if you are more at peace then you will have more energy that you can put toward maintaining your relationship.
You can’t be emotionally intimate with your partner if you are not emotionally honest with yourself. So, make sure that you are ready for that level of trust and commitment with another person before getting in a relationship. You can’t be honest with your partner, if you can’t be honest with yourself first.
In conclusion, all of these things can help facilitate a healthy amount of emotional intimacy but understand that this is not something that can be done one-way. If he is not willing to be emotionally available and vulnerable with you, then you may not be with the right partner. Always make sure there is equal effort on both sides, and if there isn’t make sure it is addressed. Sometimes we give vulnerability and trust to those who don’t deserve it. So, take that leap of faith, but make sure that it is mutual and healthy.