Why Can’t I Get Horny? Possible Causes and Solutions for Women and Men

What does getting horny or “sexual arousal” mean?

Sexual arousal, often known as horniness, is the condition of being sexually excited or turned on. Following the perception or experience of stimuli (erotic content, fantasies, physical touch, etc.), a series of changes prepares the body for sexual activity. This involves an increase in blood flow to the genitals, resulting in erection in men or lubrication in women, as well as to other organs involved in sexual responses, resulting in increased heart rate and breathing rate, among other things. It also has a component that improves psychological readiness to respond to sexual triggers.

How is sexual arousal different from sexual desire?

“Horniness” and “libido” are two related but distinct concepts that are usually used interchangeably, but they refer to different aspects of sexual response and should be kept distinguished.

While horniness, as defined above, is a more colloquial expression for a state of intensified sexual urge or passion. Libido, on the other hand, refers to a person’s overall sexual drive or desire. It is influenced by a variety of factors, including hormonal, psychological, and social factors.

Libido is a more clinical and scientific term that refers to a person’s baseline level of interest in engaging in sexual activities.

In other words, horniness is a temporary state of heightened sexual arousal, while libido refers to a person’s overall level of sexual desire which usually remains stable over a longer period of time.

A person can have a high libido but still have a hard time getting sexually aroused, or they may experience arousal without necessarily having a strong desire for sexual activity.

What can cause decreased sexual arousal or horniness?

The majority of variables that affect sexual desire also affect sexual arousal. The following are some of the various factors that most individuals experience during their lifespans and should be aware of:

Health conditions

In some studies, it has been proven that chronic diseases often influence the patient’s sexual life.
For instance, it has been demonstrated that epilepsy alters the hormone levels in the body, causing problems in sexual responses such decreased desire, orgasmic and erectile dysfunction, and dissatisfaction with sexual activity.

Additionally, issues with sexual desire may result from vascular and neurological conditions. Patients with diabetes, pelvic vascular disease, and multiple sclerosis had lower levels of sexual desire, according to research.

Acute diseases or injuries have also been studied, actually, women with spinal cord injuries between areas T11 and L2 showed a lack of lubrication during psychological sexual arousal due to an interruption of the neurological flow connected to the genital area.

Psychological disorders

A variety of mental health problems including social phobia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, mood disorders, anxiety and especially depression lead to a decreased sexual lust in individuals. They make it difficult to focus on sexual activity and decrease libido and hence the ability to feel horny. These disorders actually interfere with normal nervous system activity and can negatively impact a woman’s ability to become sexually aroused.

The “turned on” phase’s achievement depends in large part on one’s body image (the way an individual perceives their body). Riley J. Alan, a sexologist and professor of sexual medicine, found a link between certain women’s low libido and their poorly developed external genitalia, notably the clitoris, which is mainly hypoplastic in these cases. He concluded that these women are able to experience sexual arousal and orgasm but only with difficulty: disappointment and frustration for a poor genital response inhibits this latter and this repeated failure may lead to a persistent block in sexual desire.

There are some disorders of lowered sexual arousal/desire that has been reported in psychology/psychiatry, such as:

There is limited scientific research on the specific effects of honey on sexual health. However, honey is known to offer various health benefits, and some studies indicated that it may have a positive impact on sexual function, including:

• Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), a condition in which “desire for and fantasy about sexual activity are chronically or recurrently deficient or absent.”
• Female Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder (FSIAD) which is described as “ a lack of, or significantly reduced, sexual interest/arousal.”

Lifestyle/cultural factors

Societal factors: Sexual norms vary widely depending on the beliefs, the culture and the educational level of certain regions/individuals. Those, and especially women, who have been taught to believe that having a sexual interest, exploring one’s sexuality or having sexual experiences is bad, frequently suffer guilt and shame during sex, which has been linked to both low levels of sexual desire and low levels of sexual arousal.

Lifestyle factors: it has been proven that behavioral elements are crucial for a good sexual activity.

Fatigue, poor diet, and lack of energy, sleep or physical activity, all affect hormone levels and alter the neurological system, therefore reducing a person’s ability to feel sexual excitement.

Causes related to your partner(s)/relationship(s)

Disagreements, communication and conflict resolution issues, or simply difficulty discussing sexual behaviors in a partnership can contribute to diminished sexual arousal.

Decreased libido and sexual arousal related to medications

There is limited scientific research on the specific effects of honey on sexual health. However, honey is known to offer various health benefits, and some studies indicated that it may have a positive impact on sexual function, including:

• It has been demonstrated that some anticonvulsants, used to treat seizures or prevent them from happening, have a significant influence on sexual dysfunction, mainly through changes in sex hormone levels.
• ACE inhibitors, which are antihypertensive drugs, caused a moderate to severe decline in sexual functioning in both males and females, including arousal dysfunction among others (ED, low desire, etc). This was found to be highly frequent among patients using this sort of medication.
• Many research demonstrate that antidepressants are the most commonly associated with reduced sexual arousal and desire among medicines.

Note: Newer generations of antidepressants that operate as antagonists (blockers) at the serotonin 2 receptor, on the other hand, are linked with less sexual adverse effects.

Substance abuse / illicit drugs

Because alcohol is a nervous system depressant, it can slow down the body’s reactions and hence diminish sexual excitement. It may have a good effect on sexual activity in small amounts, but in excess, it can reduce excitement and limit sexual performance.

Chronic alcohol abuse can also lead to long-term sexual dysfunction.

Causes related to age and its resulted physiological changes in the body

As people age, they undergo different physical and hormonal changes that contribute to a decline in sexual arousal. These changes include:

Menopause: In addition to having a range of physical and emotional impacts on women, menopause is also considered as a sexual turning-point during which long-established patterns of behavior and response are often altered. Studies indicated that, at this phase of a woman’s reproductive cycle, couples experience a decline in sexual interest and activity and a decreased sexual responsiveness.
It has been discussed how menopause changes affect male sexual partners as well.

Physical modifications including touch impairment, vaginal dryness, dyspareunia, loss of sexual desire, loss of clitoral feeling and so on might be limiting factors not only for females but also for male partners.

Although, it’s important to note that every woman’s experience with menopause is unique, and some women may not experience any changes in sexual arousal or function.

Changes in hormonal status: the aging process is accompanied by a decline in testosterone level, which is associated with reduced coital frequency and loss of sexual desire and arousal in both women and men.

Furthermore, Estrogen levels appear to also fall with age and their decline has been associated with reduced blood flow to the vaginal walls, resulting in vaginal dryness, discomfort, and pain during intercourse all of which can result in sexual dysfunctions and diminished sexual arousal.

Note: Refractory period:
Sexual inhibition can occur after orgasm or climax; it is defined as a time in which reproductive ability must be restored before copulation can resume. The duration of this period varies from person to person and should not be seen as a sexual arousal issue.

What are the solutions for this problem for both women and men?

• Consulting a healthcare provider: this is a key step as it is important to rule out any underlying medical conditions, or to identify medications taken by the individual that may be contributing to the issue.
  Decreased sexual arousal may hide a serious health problem and should not be disregarded.
• Addressing psychological issues: Prior to attempting to treat any sexual dysfunction concerns, depression, anxiety, relationship issues, and other mental health factors should be handled or adjusted. 
• Maintaining a healthy lifestyle: Taking care of one’s physical and mental health might help to increase sexual arousal. This involves following a healthy diet, getting a sufficient amount of sleep, controlling stress levels, and exercising frequently.
• Experimenting with different forms of sexual stimulation: such as touch, massage, or sex toys can also help to increase arousal.
• Communication: It might be beneficial to discuss sexual concerns with one’s sexual partner(s) and to talk about what feels good and what doesn’t. Effective communication is the foundation of a successful and healthy sexual relationship and there is no shame in confronting such topics.
• Abstaining from substance abuse: reduce the consumption of alcohol and illicit drugs.
• Sexological training/education: There are several training sessions that can help with such issues including education about factors that affect sexual arousal, couples exercises, communication training, sexual fantasy training and others. They have shown incredible results, and are recommended by sexologists.
• Medications: Various drugs have been known to have a good impact on sexual arousal and are prescribed for such issues. However, it’s important to discuss their use with a doctor to know their potential benefits and risks.

Decreased sexual arousal isn’t always a problem, ever heard of the term “Asexuality”?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person does not feel sexual attraction towards others. It is important to distinguish it from celibacy, which is a choice to abstain from engaging in sexual activity typically driven by religious or cultural beliefs.

Asexual individuals may or may not engage in sexual activity, but their lack of attraction or desire for others is a consistent aspect of their identity.

It is a spectrum, as asexual individuals may experience varying degrees of sexual attraction or desire. While some asexuals may be romantically attracted to others and want to form relationships with them without having a significant interest in sexual activities, others may feel little to no romantic attraction.