what is edging

What is Edging – and How Can I Try It?

Have you heard of “edging”? Since it requires no equipment (and leads to more powerful orgasms), it’s one of the top kinks out there – and we think you’re going to quickly see why!

What is Edging?

Edging is the practice of ceasing all stimulation once you’re on the “edge” of orgasm while being pleasured.

This causes the body to calm down a bit, backing off of the point of orgasm, and allowing the person to resume pleasure without cumming.

Most people will do this at least a few times before allowing themselves to orgasm – and some people will intentionally do it for hours on end (sometimes known as “gooning”).

Most of us have done some version of “edging” unintentionally. We simply weren’t ready for sex to be over, so we pulled out, stopped touching, or reduced our stimulation to make sure orgasm wouldn’t happen. Edging, simply, is the process of doing it intentionally! It’s common in kink spaces, but lots of people do it outside of the BDSM community too.

Edging has some pretty cool benefits:

  • It can lead to more powerful orgasms. If you continually build up stimulation without orgasm, it can make that final orgasm WAY more intense! This is because your body is extremely aroused by the time you finally orgasm after an edging session.
  • It helps you understand your pleasure process. You’ll definitely understand exactly how getting close to orgasm feels once you start playing with edging. This can help you better control yourself in partnered situations and/or give your partner a head’s up.
  • It makes sex last longer. If we strictly go from point A to point B, sex might only last 3-5 minutes. If you want all of those delicious, full-body sensations to go on even longer, edging can make that happen. Since you’re deliberately pushing off the end, you get to enjoy more of the good things in the middle!
  • It can heighten your sex drive. There’s no rule that says you have to orgasm after you finish your edging session. In fact, a lot of kinky people will edge themselves 5 to 20 times – and then stop masturbating all together for the day, entirely skipping orgasm! This can really amp up the sex drive when done over multiple days, and it can leave you in a great, sexual headspace for future play solo or with a partner.

Edging is entirely safe – though if you edge too long, you may end up with “blue balls” – but you know how to fix that one, right?

Easy Ways to Try Edging

Honestly, edging is probably the cheapest, most affordable, simplest sexual activity out there.

It just involves the masturbating you already do – but you simply stop when you’re just about to orgasm. Don’t let yourself tip over that point.

Because it’s so simple, you can make edging happen in virtually any way you can reach orgasm. If you can cum from it, you can use it for edging.

Some pretty common options:

Edging has some pretty cool benefits:

  • Use a vibrator to get yourself close and then pull it away
  • Use a Bluetooth-enabled toy to create your own pattern that gets you close to orgasm and then pulls down the intensity, over and over.
  • Slide into a penis stroker and control the pace to control yourself.
  • Grind up against a couch or pillow until you’re close.
  • Use a showerhead to pleasure yourself.
  • Slide in an anal toy while doing your favorite self-pleasure methods, and stop the self-pleasure options when you’re close. (You might find you accidentally orgasm from anal only though!)
  • Simply use your hand while looking at all of your favorite porn!
  • Finish the entirety of an erotic series you were reading while enjoying a heightened sex drive the entire time.

My only caution? Make sure to choose pleasure options that allow you to stop all sensation at a moment’s notice. Since edging is about ending stimulation before orgasm happens, you don’t want to accidentally push someone into an orgasm when you didn’t intend to.

This means that you may want to avoid unreliable remote controlled toys or set ups that make it impossible for the receiver to move away from what’s going to make them cum. (Like a vibrating cock ring, for example! While it feels amazing, it might take too much time to make the vibrations stop, and you might accidentally orgasm before you intended to!)

Can I Edge with a Partner?

Oh, heck yes! Edging can be a really fun way to “draw out” sex. It also happens to have the benefit of being a type of play you can do online, too.

You’ll probably find it difficult to edge with intercourse, though. Intercourse can be a great time, but it’s also very physically taxing, and it may not provide both partners with enough stimulation to make it close to orgasm.

This is why most edging scenes – whether partnered or solo – involves hands, oral, or sex toys. Since “going for long periods of time” tends to be the kink’s intention, choosing less strenuous activities will let both of you go on for as long as you want to edge. You won’t have to tap out because your hamstrings are exhausted.

If you’re going to edge your partner, I highly recommend coming up with a communication system to make sure you won’t accidentally topple them over the edge. While you can pay attention to breathing and muscle tension to “guess” when someone is going to orgasm, it can be a lot more effective to hear your partner whimpering “I’m going to cum”.

This way you both can “ride the edge” for as long as you both want – and you won’t accidentally trigger an orgasm you didn’t mean to trigger.

What If I Hate Edging?

Edging isn’t for everyone – and that’s okay! Especially for people who may struggle to reach orgasm in the first place, feeling the stirrings of the start of orgasm – then having it ripped away – can be tear-inducingly frustrating in a bad way.

If edging isn’t for you, don’t worry about it! There’s no rule that says you must fall in love with edging.

Instead, if you want to try something similar, consider teasing yourself sexually – but without the focus on getting near orgasm. Providing lots of pleasurable, sexual stimulation to yourself without orgasm – especially over multiple days – can also ramp up your sex drive. You don’t necessarily need to get anywhere near the point of orgasm!

Instead, you might consider:

  • Sitting on a vibrator while you watch a TV series with a hot main character.
  • Touching yourself for five minutes before or after your shower.
  • Using a cock ring during masturbation. This snug pressure at the base of the penis can simulate some of the added orgasm intensity you’d get if you were edging for long periods of time before orgasm.
  • Teasing yourself mentally without any physical stimulation. This might involve going to an erotic museum to immerse yourself in all of the sexual energy or simply reading some erotic novels. You don’t have to add any physical stimulation.

Don’t worry so much about getting near orgasm if edging frustrates you. Instead, focus on ramping up your sex drive without the pressure to get near orgasm to enjoy some of the benefits of edging without the frustration.


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